Last week was a tough week for me emotionally. There were lots of tears and panic attacks and worrying about everything under the sun. I can’t say that I don’t know the cause of it all. I do. The THING isn’t really the problem though. The problem is fear and the unknown, two beasts that I have yet to tame in my life.
I’ve been learning a lot going to my meetings for the clinical study, which is centered around Mindful Awareness. I’ve been learning to meditate and find peace through meditation. By the end of last week I was able to finally able to come to terms with all of my thoughts and feelings. I went through every scenario of my worst fears and, surprisingly, the worst case scenario is actually pretty palatable.
I know I have a long way to go and that there were be a lot more instances of me having to sort these things out, but it’s nice to have tools to work with now. I have also been able to decide what is really important to me and I can let go of anything that doesn’t fit into that category. This has made it really easy for me to decide what or who I want to deal with on a day to day basis. I think I have spent too much time working on relationships that don’t give back and not enough time on relationships that could blossom if I put more energy into them. This was a huge epiphany for me. I think learning how to let go has been my biggest accomplishment in the past few months.
Big breakfast happened. I spent so much time smelling the food that we were cooking that I didn’t want to eat any of it. If that makes any sense.
Fish took AC to gymnastics. I puttered around the house and slowly got ready for the day. It was cloudy and cool. I kept meaning to get some knitting done, but other needs got in the way.
Sometime around late afternoon Fish ended up outside visiting with a couple of neighbors while the girls rode bikes and then the next thing I knew we were all hanging out around a fire visiting, eating appetizers and drinking beer and wine. I contributed a mighty fine batch of monkey bread, that I didn’t get a picture of, but it was fantastic. We didn’t get home until after 10 p.m., oops. Quick baths and bedtime for the babies. I might end the night with another glass of wine.
The saddest thing about renting is getting closer and closer to the neighbors you have and knowing you’ll have to move away from them soon.
Our second day began early because I popped up wide awake at 6 a.m. Emily was up making pancakes with my dad. We eased into the day puttering around the house. I found Fendi. He grew a lot. We’re thinking of renaming him Tank.
I also found Edith! She’s gotten bigger too.
The girls asked my mom to do their hair for the day. They love when grandma does their hair.
That night Jeremy and I drove with the girls to our friends, Cheryl and Marko. Cheryl and I were meeting Bethany and Brenda in Irvine for dinner while Jeremy and Marko watched all the girls. All five of them.
Our drive to Irvine was pretty uneventful, aside from one moment where we got lost and ended up on a toll road we shouldn’t have been on. It was so good to see old friends again. I have no pictures of us together because I’m the dork who forgets important things like that. Hopefully they have some they can share.
We all walked to a local supermarket for Indian food. We were on a “Food Adventure”
The food was delicious. The company was awesome. It felt like I had never left. We went back to the market for desserts and I ended up buying a yogurt drink because it was carbonated and I can’ t pass up a carbonated beverage. A mint yogurt carbonated beverage. Oh dear. I can’t say that I would recommend this drink. It was very salty. Very, very salty.
I would have loved to have stayed late and visited longer but I had to get back to my parents because we were going to Bakerfield the next day.
I love mail. Love, love, love. When I was a kid I had 15 plus pen pals. When these pen pals asked me of their friends could write to me also, I said YES. Who wouldn’t want more mail? Not me!
In October I turned 40. In the days leading up to my birthday, I received a postcard from my dear friend, Bethany. It gave me a chuckle and I put it up on my bulletin board in the kitchen. I did notice the marking of “1/40” on it and figured it was some sort of note left on post cards at the Post Office. Then, I received a small package that contained glitter nail polish and a note to “Face My Fears” (I have a glitter phobia). I noticed a “2/40” marked on the outside of the package. Hmmm, the Post Office is getting weird lately. Oh well, I happily applied my nail polish and commenced my glitter therapy.
THEN, more mail showed up and this time there was a “3/40” marked along with a note from Bethany “Have you figured it out yet?”
It was like that moment in the Sixth Sense where everything suddenly began to piece together and I realized, Holy Cow!! I’m gonna get FORTY PIECES OF MAIL!!! How cool is that???? And I did. It was hands down one of my best birthday gifts ever. Bethany sent me all sorts of cool notes, treats, drawings, even nature! You can see all of the mail she sent me on her blog.
I already have all my mail packaged in a big envelope to look back on in the years to come. Thank, my friend, for giving this ol’ geezer weeks worth of fun!
Edited to Add: Now I realize, after reading Bethany’s post, that I received cookies before the glitter, so I guess I was munching on yummy apple pie cookies before starting glitter therapy. See, this is how glitter messes you up, man.
Our New Year’s Eve started out kind of quiet, but turned into a night of margaritas, 7 layer dip, tacos and, most important, family. Usually my parents stay home on New Year’s Eve because I hate the idea of them driving around with people who may have been celebrating a little too hard. Knowing this would be our last New Year’s together in California, I didn’t mind them coming over, and they seemed happy to stay until the littles’ went to bed around 9 p.m.
Pix and Sprite kept my parents very busy with a gift my mom had picked out for Pix’s birthday. We know refer to this evening as the “Mosaic Sweat Shop Party”
After a couple of hours of placing these tiny, shiny, foam stickers all over the place, things started to get a little wild.
By 9 p.m. my parents headed for home and we got Pix and Sprite down for bed. Then Fish and I spent the rest of the night with Clarabelle. After watching our fair share of pelvic thrusts on Dick Clark’s Countdown show, we decided to watch Wipeout until the countdown.
When midnight came we were happy to see most of our neighbor’s came out to ring in the new year. The teenage girl across the street had friends over for a slumber party. They all ended up running around the neighborhood banging pots and and pans. Another neighbor was shooting off fireworks and all of CB’s friends in the neighborhood came out and were able to wish each other Happy New Year. That was really sweet. They seemed so confused to be seeing each other so late in their pj’s, haha.
I have so many plans for this new year. I don’t think that I can list them all. I have the feeling this is going to be an incredible year.
My good friend, Brenda Ponnay is having a virtual book tour and I get to be a part of it! Woohoo! I’ve been reading Brenda’s blog for quite a while now. I stumbled across her blog shortly after her daughter was born and could relate to so many things she was talking about because my Pix was born just 2 weeks before her Bug. Eventually we ended up getting together to hang out, at a laundromat, no less! Be sure to click on that link and see how adorable our kids were together.
If you don’t want to click on that link, you can view this video.
Death by cuteness!
Oh wait! No, no death. Maybe a stitch or two in the side, but stay alive because The eagle flies at noon.
Which brings me to the the Book Tour! Which includes a giveaway!
Brenda has created a beautiful set of children’s books that have been a real hit in my household. Secret Agent Josephine’s ABCs, Colors, and Numbers. They’re available as paperbacks and as digital books. I recently purchased a Kindle Fire so I was excited to have Sprite read the books digitally.
She loved it!
Really, what’s not to love with illustrations of underwear!?!
Wouldn’t you love to win an 8X10 print of this Underwear Illo? All you have to do is leave a comment by December 14, and you will have a chance to win the U is for Underwear print from Secret Agent Josephine’s ABCs.
Thank you Brenda, for being such a great friend and sharing all your creativity with me and my kids. We all love you so much!