Before leaving for our trip to California, I had been following the Weight Watchers program and lost 15 pounds. There was some exercise involved but most of my loss was due to keeping my daily calories at a minimum level.
When we returned from our trip and I realized that I had gained a couple of pounds back, I decided to take my weight loss plan a little more seriously. I began doing the Insanity workout 6 days a week, in addition to counting my calories. This is an intense program and I have sweat more than I have in years. My muscles have been on fire. I was expecting great results towards my goal of losing weight. Four weeks in and I had lost…one pound. ONE POUND. I’m not going to lie, I was frustrated. I’ve been eating better than I have in a long time. My carbs are extremely limited, I’ve been living on lean grilled meats and green leafy vegetables. My sugar intake is at an all time low and diet soda has pretty much been removed from my diet. In addition to all these changes, I’ve been drinking lots and lots of water. Basically, I’ve been doing everything I should be doing to lose weight.
I lamented over this to Fish,who has been doing the same program with me, has been eating a lot more and has lost TEN POUNDS already. He suggested what others have suggested, that I’m probably gaining muscle weight and losing fat. I understand this could be true. Yes my clothes feel slightly looser, I can see slight changes in my body, but I’ve been conditioned that there is no result unless the number on the scale is dropping. Fish then suggested that maybe I should take a break from working out and just watch my calories and see of there is more movement on the scale. This suggestion really bothered me. I mean, it bothered me a lot.
I knew that regardless of whether or not that scale dropped in numbers or not, I didn’t want to give up my workouts. This is a huge step for me. I’ve avoided exercise on a regular basis for a long time now, but something different has been happening for me. I wasn’t even conscious of it, until Fish suggested that I stop. I realized that I grew up being reminded that strength is important.
When I was a kid I was really close with my older brother and I wanted to do everything that he did. My dad was pretty awesome, he never limited my participation in the sports that he and my brother did together. If they were tossing a football, they threw the ball to me too. If they were hitting baseballs, I always had a turn at bat. My dad never said, “You can’t, you’re a girl.” In fact, my nickname when we were playing was “team”, because I was a part of the team. My dad would regularly say to me, “Let me see your muscles (pronounced muss-skulls) and he would make a big deal about how strong I was. It made me happy.
Fast forward to today. As I feel myself getting stronger, I feel better. The weight might finally drop, it might not. I’ve decided that I don’t care. I’m just going to keep sweating, keep pushing, and thank my dad for never saying “you can’t”.