Is five and a half the age of self-awareness? Molly is having such a tough time of it. She’s always been concerned about growing up and not being a baby any more. I respond that she’ll always be my baby and she seemed fine with that. I think this has been a huge part of her adjusting, or not adjusting, to Kindergarten.
The kids returned to school last week and Molly got green faces all three days. Green is a good day. Yellow is not very good and red is not good at all. Up until this return to school Molly was coming home with mostly reds and yellows. So, the returning to school after a long break and coming home with Green was such a great moment for her. Yesterday, she got another green. I was thinking to myself that she must be maturing and understanding what is expected of her. This morning she woke me up, standing next to the bed and sobbing, “I don’t want to grow up, I want to be a baby forever!!!” Maybe the understanding made her realize that she’s growing up? Who knows.
Logically, I know that this all passes and in a couple of years I can tell her all about this and we’ll have a giggle about it. Illogically, this takes me back to the dark place when Emily was having so much difficulty and waking me up in the early mornings having to puke from anxiety.
I hate watching my kids work through this kind of stuff. I wish I could be more callous about it, but then there’s that whole apple falling from the tree, which is probably the crux of all of it.