February 15, 2011 – Ugly

I didn’t want to write this on Valentine’s Day but I’ve been feeling rather ugly lately.  I don’t care so much about that, as much as I care about the pain I’m in.  Sometime last week one of my eyelash follicles became inflamed and I’ve been waiting for it to work it’s way out.  I finally had some relief this weekend and the swelling seems to be lessening.  So sexy!

Also, last week I bit the inside of my lower lip.  That bite turned into a nasty swollen canker sore and now I look like Michael Douglas and his bottom lip that keeps on giving.

All kidding aside, this thing hurts like hell.  It’s bad.  Not bad enough to keep me from eating, cuz I like to eat, but bad enough for me to whimper through my meals and drink all my beverages with a straw.

In desperation, I went in search of something for this pain.  Since I don’t know where I can score illegal drugs in my white bread town**,  my search led me to Amazon where I ordered these patches that hopefully will do the trick.  They better do the trick.  Or I might have to remove my lip with a blunt knife.  In the dessert.  Then I can write a book about it and have a movie made. CHA-CHING!

**I lie.  I’m pretty sure one of my neighbors is a drug dealer.  If not, their house does a pretty good impression of being a crack house, but I don’t want to get strung out on illegal drugs.  It was bad enough weaning myself off of highly LEGAL drugs that made me happy once.


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