I had the absolute worst dream last night. It was so vivid real, I’m still quite shaken by it. I dreamed that Pix jumped into a pool, panicked and couldn’t get out, she ended up drowning, laying at the bottom of the pool in the fetal position. For whatever reason, I was in stands two stories away trying to get to her but I couldn’t.
What was even more awful was I could feel my emotions as intense and raw as if it were really happening, and the time frame in the dream was real time. This was all very strange to me because my dreams are usually really abstract and I my emotions are usually very numb and far away.
In the dream I was crying and crying and looking at a mosaic of pictures I had prepared for Pix’s upcoming birthday (on Thursday, 12/30). I called my mom and told her that I just needed my baby, that she had to have her fifth birthday. She couldn’t be gone. I’m getting upset just thinking about it right now.