I had the absolute worst dream last night.  It was so vivid real, I’m still quite shaken by it.  I dreamed that Pix jumped into a pool, panicked and couldn’t get out, she ended up drowning, laying at the bottom of the pool in the fetal position.  For whatever reason, I was in stands two stories away trying to get to her but I couldn’t.

What was even more awful was I could feel my emotions as intense and raw as if it were really happening, and the time frame in the dream was real time.  This was all very strange to me because my dreams are usually really abstract and I my emotions are usually very numb and far away.

In the dream I was crying and crying and looking at a mosaic of pictures I had prepared for Pix’s upcoming birthday (on Thursday, 12/30).  I called my mom and told her that I just needed my baby, that she had to have her fifth birthday.  She couldn’t be gone.  I’m getting upset just thinking about it right now.


5 thoughts on “Dreams

  1. Oh my dear friend, that is an AWFUL, TERRIFYING dream. 😦 I hate dreams like that where something that’s so bad seems so real. It always lingers for the rest of the day! I hope you were able to shake it off and focus on the fact that Pix is there and healthy and you still have your baby. And maybe also to sign your kids up for swimming/water safety lessons at the earliest opportunity? 🙂

  2. That does sound like a terrible dream. I hate the ones where it feels so real it sticks with you after you wake, they’re the worst. I hope it gets better soon!

    And I agree with Bethany – maybe swim lessons can help?

  3. I had a dream like that recently. I can’t remember the details now, although I’m sure I wrote it somewhere. Something happened to Elliott. It was horrifying. And waking up didn’t ease me AT ALL. I also had a dream recently where Alex drove us off the Coronado Bridge (which is one of my biggest scary places ever) and that left me with the same horrible feeling. And it was so bad that I woke up and was fully awake and got sucked more and more into the anxiety. In fact, if I am not careful, even now weeks later, I could let myself go there. I won’t. That one was clearly symbolic of other shit in my life that has nothing at all to do with driving off the Coronado Bridge. Do you think yours is symbolic? Dreams are such incredible ways of communicating with our subconscious. Perhaps this could allow you to tap into something that needs to be worked on now? Hugs, mama. I hope this dream leaves you soon.

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