Time in the day to do all that I want. So I fall further and further behind. BUT! The kids are being clothed and fed and they seem happy so I’m just going to judge my days by that outcome.
Sometimes I wish there were more to my days. There actually is a lot more but it’s just more mundane stuff that I do every other day. Ritual upon ritual with very little different in between. That is the bones of the matter. If I go beyond those bones I see other great things blossoming. Either my relationship with Fish, because of the time I put into making our house a home. Or seeing my girls learn how to navigate life and establish relationships with each other via my constant nagging about what is right/wrong/loving.
I do have many daydreams, where I wish that I had focused more on learning a musical instrument and being a part of a symphony. Even a local, amateur, off key symphony. I have other daydreams also, but they are so quick and fleeting I can’t remember them long enough to write about them. They really aren’t that important, because I know that there will be a future with more time and more dreams to have. At least that’s what a lot of people tell me.
With that in mind, tomorrow I’ll wake up and fill three more cups of milk and maybe flip a few pancakes while I remind everyone to straighten up their rooms and get into their clothes, while I listen to a symphony on the radio.