I know it’s been a while since I’ve written a The Other Side post. I will soon, but I felt the need to write something really quickly now. Maybe somebody out there needs to hear that there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
Fish and I have had many sleepless nights not sure what the future would hold for our baby. There was a time that I thought our “at best” would be a child who would be somewhat accepted by her peers. I even thought we could settle for a child who would be a loner, that hopefully nobody would pick on. There were times that I found it hard to get through a day with all of the emotions and outbursts. I was having a hard time getting up each morning knowing what I would be up against for the day. A child who woke me up at 6 a.m. ready to vomit at the side of my bed because of anxiety. Who then, took all those emotions out on me on a minute by minute basis.
There was rage and then worry. Anxiousness bottled up and then released in a wave of tantrums and tears. I was needed to comfort and then I was pushed away because I didn’t understand. It was hell and there were times that I felt the weight of the world on me. Yes, my child had two parents, but I felt like I, the mom, had to answer to the questions of why? Why is your daughter not perfect in every way?
Well, I know longer worry about the answers because my daughter IS perfect in every way. She has blossomed into a happy, social little girl. Fish and I talk about the bad from the past and can’t believe the good we are living now. I am so thankful for all the people who have been in our lives who have helped us find our way as a family. If you need to hear it. There is light at the end. Some days it may seem dim or maybe just a teeny tiny spark, but it is there. I promise.