A little over a week ago I decided to turn my back on one of my great loves, Diet Pepsi. It was awful. I felt like I was living this video…
It’s a quarter after one and I need my freakin’ Diet Pepsi, that’s for damn sure. BUT! I got past that stage. I got to the smug, I don’t need no stinking Diet Pepsi stage. I’m too good for you Diet Pepsi. I can’t believe I ever loved you. Diet Pepsi.
I woke up on Sunday feeling rather chipper. I think I even said something about how silly it was for me to waste all those years with a loser like Diet Pepsi. And then….. HORRIBLE STOMACH PAINS FROM HELL and a FEVER and I had to lay in bed all day because I couldn’t lift my body. Every now and then, one of the kids would come by to pat my head and make sure I was still breathing. I think they were tiring of all the potato chips that Fish kept trying to call breakfast, lunch and dinner. They stopped coming when the Italian Beef in the crockpot finished cooking. My little carnivores. By 5 p.m. I gave up hope for a turn around and I succumbed to a lovely Nyquil coma.
So you be the judge. Years and years of drinking Diet Pepsi and no illness. One week without Diet Pepsi and I almost die.