Detox

One of my worst fears, since having the boob job, is that I will gain back the weight I’ve lost since the boob job, my boobs will get big again and I’ll feel really stupid.  I didn’t go through all that pain and expense to be right back where I started.  Unfortunately, my body is stupid and I have to work really really hard to make it work correctly.

I am an insulin resistant hypoglycemic with PCOS.  Which means I am destined to be fat, fat, the water rat!  BUT.  I’m not happy with that plan, so I’ve been trying to do everything I can to continue to lose weight.  So, I decided to detox.  Nothing drastic or weird, just strip my diet of sugar and junk.  I’m not completely against the idea of sugar, but I’m avoiding it when I can.  I’m trying to keep as much gluten out of my diet as possible and, AND (oh how this pains me to type it) I’ve stopped drinking Diet Pepsi.  Now, 5 days in I realize that I was addicted.  Full blown addiction.

The past week has been tough and I went through a lot of the same emotional lows that I had to undergo while weaning off of the Vicodin.  Oh yeah, you don’t know about that yet, because I’m too busy to write about it.  Let me tell  you, it sucks.  The only thing that I think has been making me somewhat bearable is the fact that I’m making myself exercise everyday and the endorphins are helping with the mopey, angry, testy beast I’ve been.  I can put a lot of that bad in the past because today I had some sort of breakthrough and I feel much better.  I’m stressed as hell, but happy to deal with it all.

Now that I’m over that hump, I’m looking forward to Thanksgiving and hanging out with the kids all next week.  Each one of them is changing so quickly.  I’m realizing how important it is to soak them all in any chance I get.

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