Family

As most of you know, the reason that this blog is semi anonymous is because I haven’t yet told my family of our plans to move to North Carolina.  There are a lot of different reasons why this will be a difficult part of our plans.  Maybe this post will make it more clear as to why.  I do have to say that, after this Easter, I am now feeling better about the aspect of leaving what little family we do have behind.

I feel I need to first state that I love my parents dearly.  My dad is my dad.  He really does no wrong.  He may be stubborn at times, just like myself, but he’s very much an even keel, always.  My mom has a good heart but I think she is constantly working through issues and it does affect how she handles different situations.  She’s hot, she’s cold, she’s sometimes somewhere in between.  She is NOT spiteful and always tries to do her best.  She never goes out of her way to cause strife, it just ends up happening by default of her emotions at times.  I’m used to my mom and have learned how we can interact in a positive way.

My brother, he has become a stranger to me.  I see him periodically, but our only bond is something that has been forged from our deep love for each other as kids.  I could always count on my brother.  I know that I still can, but it’s different now.  We rarely have anything past the “how are you doing?” types of conversations.  It makes me sad, but it is what it is.  He is married to a person who has, over time, torn our family down to an uncomfortable room of people who smile stiff smiles at each other over inane small talk at every family gathering.  There is so much that can be said about this progression, but it’s tiring and I’m pretty much over it all.

This morning I was telling Fish that I wanted him to keep me in check.  I didn’t want to follow the family tradition of getting so worked up over the holidays that I end up stressing out and being grumpy with the kids.  Shortly after this conversation I called my mom to confirm the schedule for the day.  She had called earlier in the morning to let me know that she would be “starting things” around 1 p.m.  I got side tracked with making deviled eggs and it was already 1:05 p.m.  I was calling her to make sure that we weren’t supposed to be there at exactly 1:00 p.m.  Also, probably important to note, we were going to have an Easter Egg Hunt at my parents’…

Me: Hi mom.  I wanted to make sure that we weren’t supposed to be there at exactly 1 p.m. because I’m just finishing making deviled eggs and we’ll be leaving in a little bit.

Mom:  Well, I thought you would have been here by now.  I’m expecting your brother (and SIL and Nephew).  I have eggs all over the place so if you’re not here by the time they get here, I guess (nephew) will do the egg hunt alone.

Me:  I don’t even know what you’re trying to tell me.

Mom:  Well, there are eggs all over the place and once (nephew) sees them he’s going to want to get them.

Me: Oh, well OK.  So I guess you can’t take him in the house and have him wait?  There have been many instances that my kids have had to wait for other people and we’ve handled it quite well. (Keep in mind that my bro and his wife are perpetually late and we’ve put many things on hold in anticipation of their arrival)

Mom:  Yeah, I guess we could do that.  Nobody is here yet anyhow.

We said our goodbyes and I went on a tear with Fish about how ridiculous that conversation was.  What the hell????

And can you guess what happened when we got to my parents?  My kids sat around in hushed silence, waiting to hunt for Easter eggs while my nephew slept on the couch.

I couldn’t make this crap up if I tried.

It seems that the more we get together as a family, the more I realize just how odd the situation has become.  It’s sad to say, but in this aspect, we aren’t leaving a whole lot behind.

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4 thoughts on “Family

  1. Aw man. I’m sorry, Madge! Knowing you and Fish and your girls, I don’t understand how anyone could possibly be less than totally sweet to you because you’re all awesome. I’m glad that at least your nephew didn’t hunt all the eggs before the girls got there, and proud of you that you kept your cool and pointed out to your mom that he could manage to wait till you got there. Even if it turned out to be a moot point. 🙂

  2. I’m sorry you had to deal with drama. And good for you for speaking up, sometimes its hard to do that, but keeping it in isn’t good for ya 😛

    Holidays with family have me dreading all holidays. And I hate that.

    Yesterday was our first Easter – our first holiday – without family around. Mine is very very rarely around that drama isn’t often, but the in-law crap has me dreading holidays and I’m afraid it is spreading to the kids no matter how hard I try to keep it away. The stress of coordinating things and organizing everything to please them irritates me more and more each year.

    Yesterday was so relaxed and peaceful and beautifully a true holiday that I can’t feel guilty about being happy that the in-laws couldn’t join us for once, and it reinforced our decision to have Christmas morning alone this year. That announcement will bring one hell of a fight, but I need more of this peaceful feeling on holidays.

  3. I am sorry you are having to go through this. I feel for ya. Sending you an email later! Love ya {HUGS}

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